Becoming: Self-Actualization or Self-Transcendence

As we enter December a question you may hear often is: 

What do you want for Christmas? 

or 

What did you get for Christmas?

Please consider turning that question around by asking yourself, “What will I give of myself to others for Christmas?“

With regard to this question, my perspective and life forever changed when I first read Man’s Search for Meaning. 

“Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning.” 

(Foreword, Man’s Search for Meaning) 

Most of us are on a quest to be happy. But happiness is too often about what we can take in from the external world to make us feel good. Frankl argues that the best life is a life in search of meaning.

In a world set on consumption, pleasure, and superficial happiness, Frankl wants to flip the question, “What can I get?” to “What is wanted of me?”

This is a paradigm shift that takes us from the realm of self-actualization to self-transcendence.  

Self-actualization: the realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive or need present in everyone. Its end is a focus on self and perhaps captured in the question, “Am I happy yet?” 

Self-transcendence: the overcoming of the limits of the individual self and its desires in finding meaning in life by using our gifts to bless other people. This exponentially magnifies our happiness.  

I believe life is about “becoming.” Working towards becoming the kind of person you want to be. The outcome of an outward mindset produces a servant-leader.

Socrates is noted for this statement: The unexamined life is not worth living. Let’s be unafraid to examine our lives. To do so, I offer a list of 12 questions you can answer for yourself. You could record your thoughts in your mind, or better yet, in writing:

  1. What do you expect of life?
  2. What does life expect of you?
  3. What do you live for?
  4. Will it sustain and motivate you throughout your life?
  5. What would you die for?
  6. What do you think about when you don’t have to think?
  7. What has given you meaning in your life?
  8. Are you free?
  9. Why or why not?
  10. What is your greatest dream?
  11. What is the highest goal to which you aspire? Why?
  12. Are you becoming who you were meant to be?

Frankl answered these questions early in his career as a psychiatrist. As the Nazis were destroying his family and the community around him, he received an invitation to come to the American Consulate in Vienna to pick up his immigration visa. His parents were thrilled that he could escape and leave Austria. Yet he was conflicted at leaving his aging parents alone to the fate of the Nazi menace. He asked himself, 

“Where did my responsibility lie? Should I foster my brainchild, logotherapy, by emigrating to fertile soil where I could write my books? Or should I concentrate on my duties as a real child, the child of my parents who had to do whatever he could to protect them? I pondered the problem this way and that but could not arrive at a solution; this was the type of dilemma that made one wish for ‘a hint from Heaven’ as the phrase goes. It was then that I noticed a piece of marble lying on the table at home. When I asked my father about it, he explained that he had found it on the site where the National Socialists had burned down the largest Viennese synagogue. He had taken the piece home because it was a part of the tablets on which the Ten Commandments were inscribed. One gilded Hebrew letter was engraved on the piece; my father explained that this letter stood for one of the commandments. Eagerly I asked, ‘Which one was it?’ Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land. At that moment I decided to stay with my father and my mother upon the land, and let the American visa lapse.” 

This was a self-transcendent choice and act. A lesser act of self-actualization would have sent him to America. He would have never experienced the breadth or depth of finding meaning he found in the concentration camps.  

“Becoming” begins with our freedom to choose. The freedom to develop our special gift or excellence. Stephen Covey puts it this way, “Between stimulus and response is a space and our greatest power—the freedom to choose.”  The freedom to change, thus allowing us to discover self. I found this stimulus through cultural decline, from reading and careful study, and from mentors, either living or speaking to me from books like Man’s Search for Meaning. 

“The more one forgets himself – by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love – the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.” 

Victor Frankl

December is the month with the least amount of daylight. Yet it can be a month with the greatest “heartlight,” to coin a word from Neil Diamond. My invitation to you in December is to transcend self by using your gifts and virtues to bless others. 

During this month I will share parts of this book that taught me about self-transcendence and servant leadership. I invite you to join the journey of becoming. 

It is the quest to discover, “What is wanted of me?“

Gratitude Strengthens a Nation: George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation

With gratitude to God for superintending His Purpose in establishing this country, it is altogether fitting that George Washington, as father of our country, was the first president to proclaim Thanksgiving as a national holiday.

In the proclamation we hear echoes of the Declaration of Independence which established foundational principles of equality and unalienable rights and organizing powers under the Constitution to best affect the safety and happiness of this country’s citizens. What a beautiful tradition to begin so soon after the ratification of the Constitution on September 17, 1787 and Bill of Rights on September 25, 1789. 

I hope that you will take some time to share this beautiful piece of writing with your family, perhaps even around the Thanksgiving table. There are many virtues emphasized here. The wisdom imparted by the Father of our Country would benefit any gathering, especially an assembly of people who love one another dearly.

This is the wisdom that speaks to me, personally and profoundly. 

Here are some points to consider before reading Washington’s address:

  • At this time, our country was already expanding west into the Ohio, so the virtues that its citizens would need to take with them to establish strong communities was on Washington’s mind. The Northwest Ordinance had been passed and included this paragraph: “Religion, morality, and knowledge being necessary to good government and the happiness of mankind, schools and the means of education shall forever be encouraged.” Washington includes the reference below to science at the end of the proclamation, punctuating the importance of education which is the science of truth as one whole in all subjects. 
  • Washington included a petition for forgiveness for public or private transgressions, a need to demonstrate reciprocation of duties we owe to God to do them properly and punctually. He wished for a national government to bless us with wise, just, and constitutional laws and reminded us of our duty to obey them.
  • Washington humbly calls upon God to bless other nations with similar benefits under the banner of true religion. “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (James 1:27) From this directive, a generous God generally grants to all a degree of prosperity, for which we are in turn again indebted to Him with thankfulness. 

Looking at this proclamation you see gratitude to God and the foundational principles of our country, freedom of religion, moral virtue, and education. All this guided by duty to God and country. 

I again invite you to share this Proclamation with your family as part of your celebration. Below this address there is a way to download a pdf copy to print and distribute. 

Happy Thanksgiving, America!

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor—and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be—That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks—for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation—for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war—for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed—for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted—for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

and also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions—to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually—to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed—to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord—To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and us—and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New-York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Go: Washington

“Thanksgiving Proclamation, 3 October 1789,” Founders Online, National Archives, https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-04-02-0091. [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Presidential Series, vol. 4, 8 September 1789 – 15 January 1790, ed. Dorothy Twohig. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 1993, pp. 131–132.]

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Gratitude for Monuments Honoring Our Forefathers and Mothers

November 11, 2021 we all paused our busy lives to take a moment for gratitude. It was Veterans Day.  But November 11th commemorates another important event in our country’s history. On that date in 1620 the Mayflower landed on the shores at Cape Cod near Plymouth, Massachusetts. 

The Monument to the Forefathers, Plymouth MA

Gratitude was the first order of business. Having arrived, William Bradford said they “fell upon their knees and blessed the God of heaven, who had brought them over the vast and furious ocean.”1 The timing of this was certainly Providential. 

A few hundred miles to the south in 1619 the Jamestown settlement was introducing African slavery on a larger scale into North America. There could not have been a bigger contrast for a heritage of freedom and equality. One that would be built on faith and covenant while the other settlement was introducing servitude and bondage. The Pilgrim’s “Mayflower Compact” set a high bar of Christian duty to serve God and each other with a solemn covenant on November 11, 1620.    

As I read The Pilgrim Hypothesis by Timothy Ballard last year, I learned about a monument I never knew existed; an eighty-one-foot granite statue dedicated in 1889 called “The Monument to the Forefathers.” In the middle of the pedestal at the top is a figure representing Faith with her right hand pointing to heaven and in her left hand the Bible. Seated below her are four statues called Freedom, Morality, Law and Education. Virtues on which a nation could be built.

How could you ever have freedom absent education, morality and law to support it? The monument has four panels to the side of each with the following words inscribed: “National Monument to the Forefathers. Erected by a grateful people in remembrance of their labors, sacrifices and sufferings for the cause of civil and religious liberty.” The middle panels contain the names of those who came over on the Mayflower.

The rear panel a quote from William Bradford. 

“Thus out of small beginnings greater things have been produced by His hand that made all things of nothing, and gives being to all things that are; and, as one small candle may light a thousand, so the light here kindled hath shone unto many, yea in some sort to our whole nation; let the glorious name of Jehovah have all praise.” —William Bradford

I am just dying to go to Plymouth and see this stately reminder of how much we owe to so few (102 passengers) for their sacrifice for freedom and religious liberty. 

The Mothers of the Mayflower

I was also taken back in awe as I read of yet another monument to Mayflower mothers. 

Pilgrim Mother Statue, Plymouth MA

In The Pilgrim Hypothesis, Tim Ballard writes,

“During their first winter in America, half of the recently landed Pilgrims died. But the Mayflower mothers were hit the hardest. They were the first to go without food. The first to go without shelter. They, more than any of the others, took what little they had and gave it to their children. They sacrificed for the survival of the next generations. They died for us. During that first winter, about three-quarters of the women died.Not far from the Plymouth shoreline today, there stands the Monument to the Pilgrim Mothers. It reads, “They brought up their families in sturdy virtue and living faith in God without which nations perish.”2

In spite of the difficulty of the winter conditions they were providentially blessed with indigenous friends like Samoset, Squanto and Chief Massasoit who could have probably destroyed them with one order. Historian Rod Gragg asked, “Why did Massasoit not order a massacre of the Pilgrims and wipe out the weak, struggling colony in its infancy? Why was Plymouth spared the repeated attacks and bloodshed that marked the early history of Virginia’s Jamestown Colony? Again, to William Bradford, it was all an act of divine grace, in which the powerful hand of the Lord did protect them. According to another historian, ‘Massasoit was a remarkable example of God’s providential care for the Pilgrims. He was probably the only chief on the northeast coast of America who would have welcomed Europeans as friends.’”3

Would you like to visit this monument? Why wait! You can do it virtually with your family by going to thepilgrimhypothesis.com where you can watch several videos about the Pilgrims and be instructed by expert historians and guides. 

As my heart filled with appreciation for our veterans last week my thoughts also turned to the National Monument to the Forefathers and Mayflower mothers. I pondered on the virtues of education, morality, and law as citizens of a free republic. 

It is sobering and gratifying to reflect on how many have given so much for faith, family, and freedom. 

1Ballard, 2020, p.113. The Pilgrim Hypothesis. Covenant Communications. 
2Ibid., p. 124 
3Ibid., p. 124

Guest Post: Gratitude in Autumn

This week I am pleased to share a post written by my wife Linda Forman. Linda co-founded John Adams Academies with me. She was an active contributor to the John Adams Academy vision, mission and core values. She has been the mentor to me and many others in my own classical journey. She has motivated our own children and youth in their love of learning. Linda was classically educated and loves classical literature, music and art. She is a creator of beauty. When Linda creates something, it is done with elegance, style and grace. The following post is a clear example of those qualities.

In this post Linda uses the literary form of poetry to aid her in the expression of her emotions. William Wordsworth said that “poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.”

I hope that you will allow yourself to fall into the world that is painted for you in this post. Poetry is an essential part of a classical education and Linda weaves it beautifully into her writing to invite you in and fully experience her gratitude.

Sincerely, Dean Forman

Gratitude in Autumn

Walking down my garden’s flagstone path I breathe in autumn. Summer’s sun and unrelenting heat have made way for an abundant display of fall blooms. Miniature cyclones stir up dried leaves, rifling them like pages in a book. The evenings are cool and the mornings crisp and there is an end to daily watering and weeding.

Many meet fall with a sense of loss over what was in the rebirth of spring and the warmth of summer.  But, for me, autumn is a celebration of abundance and thanksgiving.  Abundance in harvest…the late apples yet to be picked, a traditional time to gather with family, to bake and share meals, and to count blessings. I am grateful.

My feelings and my gratitude are not single to me.  The great authors and poets have expressed these same emotions of awe and appreciation so much better than I ever could.  In the reading I find connection and know that I am not alone in my amazement.

Samuel Butler wrote: “Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.” 

Emily Dickinson wrote of her Autumn Garden abundance, 

The Products of my Farm are these
Sufficient for my Own
And here and there a Benefit
Unto a Neighbor’s Bin.

With us, ‘tis Harvest all the Year
For when the Frosts begin
We just reverse the Zodiac
And fetch the Acres in –

She also wrote in her journals, alluding to the mental and physical solace of the garden, “There is not yet Frost, and Vinnie’s Garden from the door looks like a Pond, with Sunset on it.  Bathing in that heals her.  How simple is Bethesda!”  Placing myself within her language I, too, am healed.

In Edna St. Vincent Millay’s fourteen-line sonnet she tries to bring the elements of the world closer to her.  She is full of emotions. The world is too beautiful. 

God’s World

O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!
   Thy winds, thy wide grey skies!
   Thy mists, that roll and rise!
Thy woods, this autumn day, that ache and sag
And all but cry with colour! That gaunt crag
To crush! To lift the lean of that black bluff!
World, World, I cannot get thee close enough!
Long have I known a glory in it all,
                   But never knew I this;
                   Here such a passion is
As stretcheth me apart,—Lord, I do fear
Thou'st made the world too beautiful this year;
My soul is all but out of me,—let fall
No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call

Paul Laurence Dunbar expresses my wonder but also my joy and gratitude in autumn.

Merry Autumn

It’s all a farce,—these tales they tell
     About the breezes sighing,
And moans astir o’er field and dell,
     Because the year is dying.
 
Such principles are most absurd,—
     I care not who first taught ’em;
There’s nothing known to beast or bird
     To make a solemn autumn.
 
In solemn times, when grief holds sway
     With countenance distressing,
You’ll note the more of black and gray
     Will then be used in dressing.
 
Now purple tints are all around;
     The sky is blue and mellow;
And e’en the grasses turn the ground
     From modest green to yellow.
 
The seed burrs all with laughter crack
     On featherweed and jimson;
And leaves that should be dressed in black
     Are all decked out in crimson.
 
A butterfly goes winging by;
     A singing bird comes after;
And Nature, all from earth to sky,
     Is bubbling o’er with laughter.
 
The ripples wimple on the rills,
     Like sparkling little lasses;
The sunlight runs along the hills,
     And laughs among the grasses.
 
The earth is just so full of fun
     It really can’t contain it;
And streams of mirth so freely run
     The heavens seem to rain it.
 
Don’t talk to me of solemn days
     In autumn’s time of splendor,
Because the sun shows fewer rays,
     And these grow slant and slender.
 
Why, it’s the climax of the year,—
     The highest time of living!—
Till naturally its bursting cheer
     Just melts into thanksgiving.

In this season of beauty, I walk in my garden with gratitude, a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to man and will bless my life with abundance, all the while knowing that I am quite unworthy of it all.  Gratitude this deep humbles me yet lifts and sustains me, independent of my circumstances. It is a way of living and thinking that can be cultivated and change the way I experience life and the world. My garden…it has taught me gratitude, which has brought me joy.

 “Oh Lord, who lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.”

GRATITUDE: Who Has Changed You?

 “Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

—Cicero

This month the theme is Gratitude: The Mother of All Virtues. Gratitude can be expressed in a multitude of ways. One way in particular relates back to our education. That is the focus of this entry.

The objective of Leading a Revolution in Education is to provide a communal classical education experience right here on this site, regardless of your age or your traditional education level.

When pondering your education, I want to put you back into the mind of the young student you were, once upon a time. Think back to the teacher, tutor, or mentor that made a mark for good on your life. What feelings or memories come up for you as you go through this thought exercise?

When my wife, Linda, and I founded a school that has now grown to three campuses and many hundreds of scholars and staff over the years, we have gained even more admiration and appreciation for teachers. They are constantly discovering, guiding and demonstrating new ways of inspiring learning, particularly during the crisis of the last two years. Our teachers deserve our thanks.

One thing we’ve found is how many educators count among their greatest possessions the thank you cards and notes of appreciation from their students.

Why is teaching such a profound influence in our lives? What drives teachers to become mentors to those they teach?

The Unlikely Match of “Alma Mater” and “Patriot”

Associated with our teachers and mentors or places of learning is the term “alma mater” meaning “nourishing mother.” The translated word “alma” also means “soul.”  Our mothers, teachers and mentors exist to nourish our minds and souls. As I reflect on my childhood “alma maters” I had a nourishing mother and many inspiring teachers.

It may seem out of place to bring up country at this point, but there is a natural tie between our country and our schools. Regarding our country or nation, part of being an American is to also learn to be a patriot. Freedom is worth our gratitude to our military and mothers and fathers. The etymology of this word comes from “pater” or “father.” Traditionally a father is a protector of his family. So also, a patriot is one who is a supporter and defender of his country.

This is where we bring these two together.

Together “alma maters” and “paters” produce patriotic citizens and good souls ready to defend family and freedom. Isn’t that a wonderful thought?

My 4th grade teacher Mrs. Bell demonstrates this thought well. I will never forget how she challenged me to memorize all the verses of our national anthems and the Gettysburg Address. In this way, Mrs. Bell brought together for me the “parents,” or the mater and pater, inspiring and affirming my gratitude for my education and for my country.

This love and gratitude has been an integral part of me since that time, and it has helped shape the person I have become and the work that I would pursue, namely the John Adams Academies.

Remembering Your Favorite Teacher

The role and greatest gift of a teacher is to motivate their scholars to learn. It is an art. To assist you in this expression of thought and gratitude please contemplate this question: How did your favorite teacher change and inspire you? 

Will you please take a moment and write down your thoughts to those questions? I hope you will all reflect on our “alma maters” and “paters” who inspire the better angels of our nature and have inspired us to become better citizens, souls and scholars. Then, if you are still in contact, share these reflections of your heart with a note of appreciation to those teachers. 

We would love to be edified by your thoughts. Share your favorite memory or the impact a teacher has had on your life in the comments.

Friends or Buddies

Before reading, take a minute to reflect on your friendships. Who is your best friend? What type of friend are you? 

What does a true friend look like as opposed to someone we might call a “buddy?” 

This begs the questions: What or who is a buddy? What or who or is a friend? 

In our study of Aristotle and the abundant life, we can’t move on without homing in on friendship as it is one of the hallmarks of a full life. In his classic work Nicomachean Ethics Aristotle takes a step back to examine and define three types of friendship. I share them with you below.

FRIENDSHIP OF UTILITY

The friendship of utility is the first kind of friendship Aristotle defines. These friendships are based on what the two people can do for one another, as we see in a business transaction. They usually have little to do with the other individual as a person and are transactional in nature. Such friendships can end rapidly, often as soon as any possible use for the other person is gone.

FRIENDSHIP OF PLEASURE

The second is a relationship of pleasure. This friendship is based on enjoyment of a shared activity. It usually includes the pursuit of fleeting pleasures and temporary emotions. Aristotle declares it to be the friendship of the young. This is a short-term friendship as people may change what or who they like and suddenly be without connection or their friend. We find a lot of these friendships disappear as our interests change, we move away, or graduate from school. 

FRIENDSHIP OF EXCELLENCE

The third is a friendship of virtue, excellence, or character. These are the people you like for themselves, the people who push you to be a better person in return. The motivation is that you care for the person authentically and therefore the relationship is much more stable than the previous two categories. This relationship gets into our inner thoughts and souls. These friendships are hard to find because most people are stuck in the realm of merely talking about people and things, always keeping the conversation on the surface. Few venture into the domain of ideas. Thus “virtuous” friendships are hard to find.  Such friendships are sacred and often scarce. They are only possible between two people of character who can invest the time needed to create such a bond. It is the most enduring of the friendships and has the depth to mutually support, minister and encourage each other in good and bad times.

FRIEND VS. BUDDY

Let me now compare a friend to a buddy. I define a “buddy” as one with whom our actions or activities inch up to “the edge” of morality, beauty and goodness. Or worse yet, they cross the line.

Paul the Apostle may have described this best when he said:

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, high minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (2 Timothy 3:17)

This defines our “buddy culture” today. A buddy is slow or reluctant to invite or tell a friend to consider a change. Why? Because their relationship may be a casual one of utility or pleasure. An excellent friend will help them pause, point out the unprincipled behavior, and invite and encourage them to consider a better path. Such change will best come when we have built equity in the relationship by blessing and helping each other.

When we have shown ourselves to be a friend of excellence they know our love is unconditional. Even when there must be correction, counsel, or advice. Reproving a friend is always challenging, flexibility in timing and words is crucial. Words can be bullets or a blanket. “The finest of friends must sometimes be stern sentinels, who will insist that we become what we have the power to become” (Neal A. Maxwell, Insights from My Life, 191). But the friend of virtue who corrects to make you a better person and help you along life’s journey is among the greatest and best friend a person can have.

I have always enjoyed the story of David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18:1-5 because it teaches me much about how to be a friend to someone.

“And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle. And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the Lord was with him.” (1 Sam. 18:14)

Between David and Jonathan, first there was mutual admiration, love and desire for the welfare of each other. Second, noble promises were made with an oath to keep each other safe. Third, proper manners were observed in behaving wisely or having virtue in their actions. These same principles can be cultivated in the development of our own most excellent friendships.

The Lord referred to his disciples as “friends” several times. (See Luke 12:4) Jesus took the form of a shepherd to his flock or sheep. “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:11-15) 

The Pinnacle of Friendship

I know I am approaching the pinnacle of friendship when I have this commitment of “owning” instead of “renting” my relationship in situations that arise with a friend. Their challenge becomes my challenge. I feel a need to encourage, support and be an ear and heart for them.

In contrast, a buddy is a hireling. He is there for the utility of the transaction or the fun or pleasure of the moment. When things get hard a buddy finds a new relationship.

A friend is a shepherd. A shepherd may stay up late at night or ponder on what to do to protect and bless his friend. As Jesus ultimately pointed out, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Become a friend of virtue. Identify your friendships of virtue and excellence. Send a note of gratitude to such a friend. They are hard to cultivate and find.

Next month on this site we will transition to discussing gratitude, the mother of all other virtues. Thank you for learning along with us as we help this Revolution in Education movement grow. We hope you will invite your friends to join us here. I’m sure they will have much to contribute to the discussions and we look forward to getting to know all of you better.

Public and Private Virtue

This month we have so far learned that happiness is best achieved through moral virtue and the proper application of Aristotle’s cardinal virtues: courage, justice, temperance, and prudence. Aristotle taught that virtue is the moral mean between extremes of excess and deficiency in matters of action and emotion. In other words, it is the model for how one ought to act.

Philosophers, poets, and prophets have studied concepts of morality for thousands of years and have come to remarkably similar conclusions. Correct or proper action is termed “moral.” Moral excellence is called virtue. The Latin foundation of the word virtue is strength. Virtue is an inner commitment and voluntary outward obedience to principles of truth and moral law. 

Virtue is readily learned, loved and best nurtured while in our youth. Specific private moral virtues include justice, wisdom, courage, temperance, reverence, prudence, charity, and integrity. Public virtue is the character to voluntarily sacrifice or subjugation of personal wants for the greater good of other individuals or the community. We see this exhibited when people serve in charities, public office, or churches without remuneration. Private and public virtue are the foundation of self-governing virtuous citizens in a free republic. 

The Form of Government, which you admire, when its Principles are pure is admirable, indeed, it is productive of every Thing, which is great and excellent among Men. But its Principles are as easily destroyed, as human Nature is corrupted. Such a Government is only to be supported by pure Religion or Austere Morals. Public Virtue cannot exist in a Nation without private, and public Virtue is the only Foundation of Republics. There must be a positive Passion for the public good, the public Interest, Honour, Power and Glory, established in the Minds of the People, or there can be no Republican Government, nor any real Liberty: and this public Passion must be Superiour to all private Passions. Men must be ready, they must pride themselves, and be happy to sacrifice their private Pleasures, Passions and Interests, nay, their private Friendships and dearest Connections, when they stand in Competition with the Rights of Society.

—John Adams to Mercy Warren 16 Apr. 1776

Said another way, private moral virtue is the only fence around truly free people. Unselfishly using your gifts for others builds public virtue and strong communities. You will know when a society is becoming corrupted and void of virtue when the laws become so numerous that nearly all human activities and actions are dictated by them. In contrast to private virtue, public virtue is the voluntary sacrifice or subjugation of personal wants for the greater good of the community. George Washington exhibited this when he allowed himself to be called out of retirement three separate times to serve our country. Jefferson referred to such people as a “natural aristocracy.” It was a nobility of virtue, talent, honesty, and patriotism. Contrast that to an “artificial aristocracy” which is built on avarice, power, birthright, and frequently lacks virtue or ability. 

Moral Excellence and Special Excellence

As we develop moral virtue, we naturally begin to discover and develop our personal excellence or natural virtue. The Greek for personal excellence is “aristeia” or arete and it means using our excellence to benefit our family, community and country. This means we seek to use our talents to answer the following questions: What was I meant to do? What are my gifts? How should I use them?

Most of us are familiar with Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. He taught that our purpose in life is self-actualization, or a very narrow and more self-centered approach to personal pleasure and success.

In contrast, a modern-day philosopher and psychiatrist Dr. Viktor Frankl put it this way, “The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.” When we use our special excellence to build and bless others we are benefited far more as the giver than receiver. 

Dr. Frankl went on to say, “For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.” In other words, if we help others get what they want, we will always get what we want. 

To be what is called happy, one should have 1) something to live on, 2) something to live for, 3) something to die for. The lack of one of these results in drama. The lack of two results in tragedy.

—Cyprian Norwid

Once moral virtue and your special excellence or talents are discovered and applied they will provide you something to live on, live for and die for. An American Classical Leadership Education®, the one that we are starting here together on this site and the one I hope you will seek to establish in your communities, has the goal of producing good citizens and great souls. As we develop moral excellence from the cardinal virtues our character takes shape, and we discover our special excellence. We discover who we were meant to be personally and what we were meant to do professionally. This is what makes a happy life complete. “For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does not make a man blessed and happy.” (Nicomachean Ethics, Book 1, Chapter 7)

Why the Golden Mean Matters

This week while listening to a recent debate about Critical Race Theory which centers on how to achieve equality and justice for all, I was reminded of a quote by Dr. Viktor Frankl, a man who suffered perhaps the greatest of injustices including  losing a wife and parents to the Holocaust concentration camps because he was of Jewish descent. 

I remember how one day a foreman secretly gave me a piece of bread which I knew he must have saved from his breakfast ration. It was far more than the small piece of bread which moved me to tears at that time. It was the human ‘something’ which this man also gave me—the word and look which accompanied the gift.

—Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Frankl would later say in a 1988 speech in Vienna memorializing the events of World War II:  

National Socialism nurtured racism. In reality there are only two races, namely the “race” of decent people and the “race” of people who are not decent. And “segregation” runs straight through all nations and within every single nation straight through all parties. Even in the concentration camps one came across halfway decent fellows here and there among the SS men—just as one came across the odd scoundrel or two among the prisoners….

That decent people are in the minority, that they have always been a minority and are likely to remain so is something we must come to terms with. Danger only threatens when a political system sends those not-decent people, i.e., the negative element of a nation, to the top.

And no nation is immune from doing this, and in this respect every nation is in principle capable of a Holocaust! In support of this we have the sensational results of scientific experiments in the field of social psychology, for which we owe thanks to an American; they are known as the Milgram Experiment.

If we want to extract the political consequences from all this, we should assume that there are basically only two styles of politics, or perhaps better said, only two types of politicians: the first are those who believe that the end justifies the means, and that could be any means . . . While the other type of politician knows very well that there are means that could desecrate the holiest end.

And it is this type of politician whom I trust, despite the clamor around the year 1988, and the demands of the day, not to mention of the anniversary, trust to hear the voice of reason and to ensure that all who are of goodwill, stretch out their hands to each other, across all the graves and across all divisions.

—Viktor Frankl, MEMORIAL SPEECH TO MARK THE FIFTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF HITLER’S INVASION MARCH 10, 1988, RATHAUSPLATZ, VIENNA

Discussion Questions:

What virtues are you pursuing? 

How do you seek after the Golden Mean in your own life? 

What virtues do you look for in your political leaders? 

How should we define public virtue and the Golden Mean in our political leaders?

Happiness and the Good Life: An Introduction to Aristotle

As we exit the cave, we find ourselves asking the questions of life.

Who am I? What was I meant to do?

In the journey of our education, we might be fortunate enough to meet, become friends with, or perhaps a scholar of Aristotle. We have been students in search of a mentor and Aristotle is a perfect choice.

Aristotle (384-322 B.C) is considered to have been one of the greatest philosophers to have ever lived. His contributions to human understanding extended to science, logic and relationships as well. Aristotle was a pupil of Plato at the Academy and was said to have called him the intellect of the school. He was teacher and tutor to Alexander the Great and eventually established a school called the Lyceum. He is arguably the greatest written voice on Happiness and The Good Life.

In the world outside the cave, Aristotle is a worthy mentor indeed. One of the most powerful concepts he can teach us comes from his book Nicomachean Ethics. Here Aristotle asks, What is happiness or the good life? How will I know when I am happy? How do I define happiness or goodness?

Happiness comes from the Greek word eudaimonia which means having a good spirit or soul. Another way to describe this is to be in a state of flourishing or psychological well-being. Aristotle’s work led him to the conclusion that an excellent life (which would be akin to a virtuous life) is one that is lived well and beautifully. He taught that virtuous character is what makes happiness possible.

Often people will ask me, “What is the goal of education at your academy?” It is Aristotelean and I would summarize it as producing good citizens and great souls. We desire to inspire scholars to moral character and virtue. And what is virtue? “Moral goodness; the practice of moral duties and the abstaining from vice or a conformity of life and conversation to the moral law.” (Websters 1828 Dictionary)

Such an education produces people of virtue, thinkers, heroes, and statesmen/women. Regarding virtue, my son Joseph once said to me, “I just sharpened this knife. It now has virtue. Because it is sharp it can cut things well, and has virtue, which is what it was created for and meant to do.” So, what were you meant to do? Let’s allow Aristotle to guide us.

In his 1828 dictionary Noah Webster defined happiness this way, “The agreeable sensations which spring from the enjoyment of good.” And from the same source, the definition of good is “Having moral qualities best adapted to its design and use or the qualities which God’s law requires;……conformable to the moral law; virtuous as applied to actions.”

Aristotle says, the primary goal of life is “to aim as some good; and the good has rightly been declared to be that at which all things aim.” (Nicomachean Ethics Book I, Chapter I)

So what is that good and happiest life? Aristotle reviews some primary contenders for this definition which include pleasure, wealth, and honor. While these can be desirable and good, many are fleeting or temporary. He suggests these may contribute to happiness, but such conditions must be connected to moral virtue, character, and doing the good to bring a full measure and complete happiness.

And what are these virtues that can bring us the right outcome and lasting joy? These are known as “cardinal” virtues, or put another way, “kardinálios” which is the Greek word for “hinge.” These are the four primary virtues on which happiness may pivot: courage, temperance, justice, and prudence.

I have always enjoyed the insight by C.S. Lewis that all virtues begin with courage. “Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality.” Or as Winston Churchill said, “Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.”

Aristotle encourages us to find the “golden mean” of our virtues, meaning the middle way. Too much courage can make us reckless, too little can make us cowards. Too much justice can make us unmerciful, too little can bring rampant disregard for law. Too little temperance produces a glutton, too much may produce callousness. And with prudence using too much or too little deliberation may affect the timeliness, fidelity and best outcome of an action. The “golden mean” is about balance in using all four virtues to make decisions and develop our character. The golden mean applies to each virtue. It teaches us that any virtue taken to extreme may become a vice. As we cultivate these gifts into habits and character we are deemed to possess them as virtues.

“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.”

―Ralph Waldo Emerson

Benjamin Franklin loved the acquisition of virtues so much he even made a chart to mark and track his progress. Each day of the week was on the horizontal axis and on the vertical axis were his desired thirteen virtues. He noted the difficulty of improvement and change with this story.

A man buying an ax wanted the speckled surface to be as bright as the edge. The smith consented to grind it bright if he would turn the wheel of the grinding stone. The grinding was grueling. Fatigue set in, and the man suggested he would keep the ax as it was. “No,” said the smith, “turn on, turn on; we shall have it bright by-and-by; as yet, it is only speckled.” Franklin observed, “this may have been the case with many, who having, for want of some such means as I employed, found the difficulty of obtaining good and breaking bad habits in other points of vice and virtue, have given up the struggle, and concluded a speckled ax was best.” (Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Harvard Classics pg. 78-82)

It is in the observation of others as mentors and heroes that we can desire to acquire the four cardinal or other moral virtues Franklin suggested.

Having left the cave and having met Aristotle you are ready for the wisdom of the ages. Consider reading Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics with 13 chapters (it is less than 20 pages). Another worthy text is The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin or Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave. Watch for virtues and themes that liberate and bring happiness in these books.